

While the obituary wouldn't carry my name, the journalist in me meant I wouldn't perpetrate the lie that my uncle was divorced if he wasn't.Ĭhandra Bozelko (right) with her uncle Tom (left) in 2001. He died without ever telling us that he married again, to a man. But when he actually had his spouse in his midst, residing with him, nearby in his daily life, people around him, even his own family, didn't know. For the majority of their matrimonial merger, Gwen* lived in Paris, not in my uncle's house on Lake Carnegie, New Jersey. Throughout most of his marriage to his wife, everyone knew my uncle was married to a woman even though she was more or less absent. It certainly wrong-footed me at that moment.

I had inserted the catch-all of "partner" because that's what you do when there's an intimate relationship that everyone knows about but no one has discussed.
#A story about my uncle length how to#
I'd included my uncle's partner in the draft already, weighed how to describe him, a man who lived with my uncle and, in his old age, became his caretaker. There wasn't much more to say about a wedding announcement that arrives after one spouse passed away. "Well congrats four years late!" I texted back. Hadn't ever been that big of a deal to us, but we were so upset over Trump's election, we wanted to do something in protest." "I have no agenda and do not want there to be any unpleasantness I can keep quiet- but wanted you to know that Tom and I got married back in 2016. I was writing my uncle Tom's obituary when a roundabout request appeared in my cell phone messages.
